Danger in Dakota
by SinghSong
Summary: Merged AU- After the destruction of the HIVE's second underwater faculty, Brother Blood decides to pick a far more promising destination than Steel City. Relocating to Dakota City, he sets about enrolling Bang-Babies to his brand-new, bigger and better HIVE Academy. And there, a new team of Titans will rise to oppose him and the HIVE. Who will emerge victorious?
1. Prologue

**PROLOGUE**

"How DARE he?! Stone, Cyborg, that impudent, unruly, delinquent heap of SCRAP METAL, did it AGAIN...! And not just him either. Bumblebee, after having been one of the H.I.V.E's top students for the past couple of YEARS? How, how DARE SHE turn against ME? Standing against MY will, refusing to follow MY commands, turned to THEIR side, the side of the Teen Titans- joining THEM, joining forces with HIM? How? HOW?! And now, I have to through all of this palaver, this complete and utter CRAP, yet AGAIN. THEY destroyed my SECOND school, my brand new underwater base, and NOW, I have to go about rebuilding the H.I.V.E academy, my H.I.V.E academy, ALL OVER AGAIN! DAMN THEM ALL TO HELL! I swear it, I shall have my vengeance, oh yes I shall. Cyborg, Bumblebee, and all of the rest of the Titans will PAY for what they've done, what they've cost me with their juvenile resistance, vandalism, criminal damage and delinquency. These children will be made to pay, will be severely disciplined, no, PUNISHED for what they've done to me. Either until they repent, see the error of their misguided heroic ways, and bow to my will and wisdom- or until they DIE! Mark my words, they will PAY! SO SAYS BROTHER BLOOD! Those who oppose Brother Blood WILL BE BLED, bled to the very last drop...!"

Finally managing to regain some element of self-control and composure, fighting to calm his justified rage and aggression, Brother Blood trailed off in his vocal tirade. Reining in the blood-red contrails of destruction swirling freely and maliciously around him, lashing out at everything and anyone in range with extreme prejudice, which had left nothing within a thirty foot radius still standing. Still, he was levitating in mid-air over the centre of an impressive newly-carved crater in the reinforced concrete floor, one deeper than he himself was tall. Regulating his breathing, slowly surveying his surroundings- what was left of them, anyway- Brother Blood didn't have to turn around to sense, with some satisfaction, that behind him, huddled together in the furthest corner end of this abandoned warehouse, the pitiful remnants of the H.I.V.E's student body were cowering and quivering in fear, trying to hide from his wrath. Those three who'd failed their graduation assignment, Jinx, Mammoth and Gizmo; along with Kyd Wykkyd, See-More, Billy Numerous and Private HIVE. All of them were huddled behind Mammoth, save for a few Billy Numerouses who hadn't been able to fit- no doubt hoping, in vain of course, that the giant's massive, rugged frame and strength would provide them some protection against the power and fury of Brother Blood.

Still, at least THESE wayward teens, worthless and incompetent though they were, still held the proper respect for him, still feared him as they should, and would still do his bidding as he demanded of them. He would keep them with him, for now. Speaking of which- Brother Blood glared at the scattered wreckage which had been the computer console he'd been standing in this spot to access in the first place. He could have used his powers to reconstitute its parts and piece it back together, but there was no way to restore the data on its hard-drive, and even if he could still use the internet, he was in too bad a mood to bother with all of that hassle and effort right now. Instead, he simply raised his left hand, clicking his fingers. "Gizmo! Your backpack, and the H.I.V.E. computer files. Give them to me. NOW."

Still keeping his back turned, Brother Blood smirked as he felt Gizmo's eyes bulging in shock, savouring the sensation of the fear rising in his student and of the clear telltale signs of guilt, tangibly dripping off his psyche like buds of sweat. "I, I... I mean, I..."

"Gizmo, I'm well aware that you extensively hacked into the H.I.V.E computer. That you've been doing so ever since Mr Stone's brief period at the first HIVE Academy, when you started to resort to whatever measures you felt were necessary to stay ahead academically; and that almost every single file on the HIVE computer is also stored in the storage drive of your backpack. I reward initiative and aptitude in bending the rules to one's will, and you were not caught doing so by security, so you were not expelled. But now, your backpack now contains the only surviving backup files from the HIVE mainframe. And you WILL either hand them over to me, NOW- or you will concede that you have outlived your purpose to me. Do I make myself clear?"

"Y-y-yes, H-Headmaster. R-right away, Headmaster." Gizmo rocketed over to the edge of the crater, struggling with visibly shaking hands to unstrap his backpack and convert it into its computer console mode, before the dwarf hurriedly toddled back over to rejoin the others as quickly as his legs could carry him. Dismissing him in an instant, Brother Blood turned his attentions to the console, levitating across to stand in front of it, his fingers flowing across the keyboard as he browsed through the files, looking for one section in particular. Jump City had been a decent base of operations, at least in the beginning, before the Titans' arrival. But now? Now, Jump City was a barren, hostile desert. There was no decent new talent available to be trained, no worthwhile clients to recruit them, no targets worth targeting besides those accursed enemies who sought to destroy all that he'd fought to build, his life's legacy; all in the name of their 'morals', 'ethics', and attempts to hold him, HIM, to the law.

In Jump City, the H.I.V.E had become a joke. There was no profit to be made there, and it just wasn't financially viable to operate from there any more. Both the League of Shadows and Brotherhood of Evil had taken full advantage, eating into his share of the world market and out-competing the HIVE for recruitment contracts, thanks largely to their far cushier situations, and he couldn't allow this debacle and demise to continue any further. He still had outstanding business in Jump City, personal business, and he would come back to take full retribution, there was no question of that. But it was long past time to relocate, to move his operations elsewhere and start anew in a far more productive, conducive environment for villainous enterprises- one where the H.I.V.E could be rebuilt and grow strong again, forging an iron grip without having to worry about competitors or interference. Naturally, that ruled out a fair few prime locations. Gotham, Metropolis, Central City, Coast City, Fawcett City, Star City, Midway City; all were swiftly dismissed as being clearly unsuitable locations, for obvious reasons. Opal City, Ivy Town, Hub City, New Carthage and Platinum Flats were worth looking over, and given greater consideration, but all were similarly dismissed in relatively short order.

Steel City, now, Steel City certainly looked like a promising enough prospective locale; one of the largest cities in the Eastern USA without any resident superheroes at all, aside from that insignificant former sidekick of Green Arrow's, Speedy, who'd only just gone solo and started patrolling its streets in the past couple of months. There was plenty of low-level street crime there, lots of shady figures, corruption and organised crime to be capitalized upon, exploited and manipulated in Steel City. But neither the League of Shadows nor the Brotherhood had any presence there whatsoever, and there apparently weren't any real supervillains there either. It seemed like a perfect choice. Would have been, if he'd been looking for somewhere to lay low. Somewhere to plot and scheme in secret, where he could keep the Titans in the dark and set his trap until he was fully prepared to lure the unsuspecting Cyborg and Bumblebee into it, to take the revenge which was his by right. It may well still suffice- for the effective misdirection component of his evil plot, at any rate. But it most certainly didn't offer a grand enough vision to be his main focus, to be the new host city of the H.I.V.E. Academy.

Brother Blood did not hide in the shadows. He was not Slade Wilson, and he wasn't going to be content with offering one or two secret apprenticeships here and there. He was a man with a vision, a grand all-encompassing vision to train and educate an entire next generation of supervillains, instilling them with the skills and attitude they'd need to some day destroy all those who'd oppose them and take over the world. And then, once they had, he'd wield the control which he held over them, manipulating them into doing exactly what he wanted them to do, using his network of HIVE's valedictorians to some day bring the entire world under his control and mold it to his immutable will. And to do that, he needed talent. He needed young, promising, villainous talented potential students who'd truly be worthy of their scholarships at the H.I.V.E, ones who possessed the power and the malleability to become true supervillains. And looking through the files on Gizmo's backpack, it soon became clear that there was one city in particular, more than any other, which could offer him and the H.I.V.E those powerful, promising meta-human potential students in the numbers which he wanted.

 **Dakota City**. Brother Blood looked through the file, and his eyes lit up with that thirsty, blood-red glow. True, it did have its own superhero or two- three, if you included the black teenage superhero's new similarly young sidekick, and perhaps as many as four or five once all of the vigilantes who'd ever surfaced in the city were added to the equation. But none of them were remotely competent enough to pose any real threat; they'd be nothing compared to the thorn in his side that the Teen Titans had been. And the _sheer potential_ for recruitment, courtesy of that incident they'd dubbed 'the Big Bang'... All of those dozens, hundreds, perhaps even _thousands_ , of impressionable, juvenile criminal meta-humans with impressive powers and abilities. All of them floating around aimlessly like jetsam, committing nothing more serious than street level petty crimes.

The Joker had recognised the potential in Dakota City's massive population of young meta-human miscreants, a couple of years ago. And even with his notorious reputation, as an insane lunatic who'd kill off members of his hired help on a daily basis for no other reason than to pass the time, he'd managed to go to Dakota City and convince a gang of six budding young would-be villains to join him- a gang which had actually succeeded in capturing the Dynamic Duo, no mean feat. If not for the Clown Prince of Crime's own idiocy in delaying dispensing with them, Robin at the very least would have been killed back then, less than a month before he'd decided to pursue a crime-fighting career on his own, and those accursed Teen Titans would never have been formed in the first place. But never mind that. What had happened had already happened- there was no changing it now. And when it came to villainous recruitment, training, indoctrination and manipulation, that ridiculous old clown was nowhere near being in his league.

Brother Blood was sure of it now- Dakota City was, without a shadow of a doubt, the most fertile recruitment ground that he and the H.I.V.E Academy could possibly ask for. There, he would sow the seeds of his eventual triumph- there, he'd truly be able to start recruiting and training an formidable army of meta-humans, against which all of the Teen Titans, and all of the next generation of heroes across the world, would fall. Cyborg and Bumblebee would be first and foremost among them, of course, Brother Blood swore to ensure that they would be- he himself would see to their demises personally, and he'd make sure that they suffered dearly, _long_ and _slow_ and **_hard_** , for having had the gall to defy him to his face. But he was a patient man, a wise man; he could wait until his seeds grew, wait until his new crop in Dakota City was ready before going out and reaping his glorious harvest. And once he had, no-one, not even the Teen Titans and all of the other teenage superheroes across the world combined, would be able to stand against them.

* * *

"...He's sure been lookin' at that console a' Gizmo's fer a long time, ain't he Billy?"

"I'll say he has, Billy. A mighty long time indeed, yesirree."

"Yeah, SO?" Gizmo snapped irritably, glaring up at the two Billy Numerous clones who'd been chatting away with one another under their breath this whole time. He would've just ignored them and played a video game, if he could; but he didn't have anything which he could play any of the good games on any more, since he'd had to hand his backpack over, so he just had to put up with hearing them instead, yammering on and on and on.

"He's purty tetchy, ain't he Billy?"

"Hoo Nelly, he sure is Billy..."

"So, whachoo reckon he be lookin' at, Jinx?" Already tense, Jinx only just managed to keep herself from jumping out of her skin and from jinxing everything in her vicinity when yet another Billy infuriatingly popped out of nowhere, leaned in close over her shoulder from behind and hissed that question into her ear. "How the hell should I kn-"

GRRRGH! Everyone whipped around to see where the roaring growl had come from; Mammoth bowed his head sheepishly, rubbing his stomach with one of his immensely powerful, overlarge hands. "Urgh, I'm hungry. Anyone got anything to eat?"

"Tell you what, Mammoth, you can eat a Billy or two. That should thin out the herd, shut them up a bit. What do you think, Gizmo?" Allowing a satisfied little smirk to form at her own threat, Jinx looked across at Gizmo and winked at him. The evil brat-genius didn't seem to take the hint though- instead, he maliciously grinned from ear to ear, giggling at the prospect. "Heheheh... Oh yeah, that sounds like a great idea, Jinx. I'd pay to see that."

Mammoth shrugged and turned around, away from Brother Blood, to face the rest of the group instead, looming over them all with his arms crossed over his massive chest. Looking down at the nearest couple of Billy Numerous clones, who visibly quailed under his gaze, and starting backing away slowly- picking up the pace as Mammoth raised an eyebrow, and his tongue popped out for an moment to lick his dry lips.

"Easy there big fella, no need ta be hasty now is there...?"

"Whoa now, hold on dere just a darned minute... _Eeek_!"

Looking on in dark silence as always, his expression unreadable through his full face mask, Kyd Wykkyd teleported out of the way with a swish of his cape. Trying to lean back against him, but finding nothing there but thin air, the Billy Numerous clone fell sprawling on his backside with a panicked squeal, scrunching up his eyes and raising his arms in a futile effort to ward off whatever was coming, as Mammoth advanced upon him.

"Ooh, I don't think I'm gonna be able to watch this..." See-More cringed, raising his hands to cover his eye and turning his head to look away. Standing beside him, even Private HIVE had a grimace on his face, deliberately averting his gaze to polish some non-existent speck off of his hexagonal shield. "This really necessary? No need to resort to last-ditch emergency rations yet..."

"Meh, you're such a wimp, See-More," Gizmo sneered, bobbing up and down in eager anticipation. "And quit bein' such a stiff, Private. C'mon, Mammoth. Eat, Eat, Eat...!"

Didn't any of these thick-headed buffoons know what dark humor was? Or how to take a hint? _Honestly_... Jinx stepped into the fray to break things up, tossing angry looks at Gizmo, Mammoth, and all six Billy Numerouses in turn, with her raised hands radiating with maleficent pink magical energy. "That's enough. Knock it off, all of you. The Headmaster's..."

"Right here." Everyone jumped in shock, whipping around to find Brother Blood standing only a couple of metres away, with a broad grin on his face, his dark red eyes shining with an intensity which put even Jinx's magical magenta light show in the shade. "Thank you, Jinx. She's quite right- amusing though it may be to indulge in a bit of healthy bloodshed, we have more pressing matters to attend to."

"Y-yes, Headm..."

"Silence." Brother Blood muttered it under his breath, barely audible. But having got all of their attentions focused upon him and him alone, all six of them, plus however many Billy Numerouses there were- _he couldn't be bothered, it wasn't worth the effort of counting_ \- muted themselves instantly, standing stock still and to attention, their own eyes starting to take on the same blood-red shimmer as his own. It was good to see that at least some of his lessons hadn't gone completely to waste.

"Come now- we travel to Dakota City. To build a new H.I.V.E, one which will surpass all others which may have come before, and from which we shall destroy all those who oppose our might! All hail the H.I.V.E- All, Hail, Brother, Blood!"

"Brother Blood! Brother Blood! Brother Blood...!"

* * *

 **So, here we are- the first chapter of a brand new Static Shock/Teen Titans crossover fanfic! This is going to be set in a merged AU, diverging from canon after Teen Titans episode 34 and the end of Static Shock's third season respectively. As you can see, the difference is that where Brother Blood decided to ditch the few remaining HIVE students after the destruction of the HIVE's second underwater facility in the series, heading off to Steel City on the East Coast to lay a trap and hide in wait, here Brother Blood decides to pursue a far more grandiose strategy instead.** **Keeping the remaining HIVE students with him, he decides to head off to Dakota City instead, with the aim of inducting and brainwashing as many of Dakota's Bang-Babies as he can into signing up to his brand-new, bigger and better HIVE, and building up an army of metahuman villains under his command, one with which he can destroy the Titans once and for all.**

 **But Bumblebee and Aqualad are already on Brother Blood's trail, and when they follow it to his new hideout in the Midwest, they'll still be looking to form their own new team of Titans there to stand against him and the HIVE, and to protect Dakota City against its super-powered criminals and villains. Neither they nor the Dakota Duo can cope with the threat alone- but who's joining whose team? I've got a few pairings in mind, and a whole heap of crushes, most of which'll be a bit one-sided- Static/Bumblebee's planned as the main pairing, though it'll be a slow burner (with both of them set to be butting heads over who's in charge for a while, especially in the beginning). And Brother Blood's set to find a love interest of his own in Dakota City (an honest-to-goodness non-rapey, non-paedo and non-slash one as well- honest). Haven't got anything planned when it comes to who most of the HIVE students'll end up romantically pairing up with though- any suggestions?**


	2. Chapter 1: Bringing In New Blood

**CHAPTER 1: Bringing in New Blood**

 **DAY 1**

It had taken quite a while for them to get here, Brother Blood mused- a couple of days, due to the need to travel under the radar, and his decision to make most on the journey along isolated, relatively unused side-roads rather than using the highways. For most of the journey, he'd placed the driver of a cattle lorry under his thrall, ordering him to release his useless cargo into the wild- with the exception of one or two cows, which they'd kept to satisfy Mammoth's meat cravings along the way- and to drive them to the rural outskirts of Dakota City. That particular loose end should have been neatly tied up by now. His purpose served, that man had been sent on his way with the order to keep on driving, as fast as he could, for as long as he could, and to never take his foot off the gas pedal no matter what. Given that he'd already gone at least a day and a half without sleep, and that he'd been ordered to refill his gas tank to the brim first, he'd certainly be roadkill by now.

Once here though, having arrived in the early hours of the morning, making sure to stay ahead of his students, Brother Blood had used his mind-warping powers to forcibly avert any potential observers' attentions away from them and from himself, maintaining a psychically induced blind-spot around them. That done, he and his remaining HIVE students had simply walked into the city through the front door, strolling down the main streets and through the back alleys, following a circuitous path to ensure that they steered clear of any security cameras and video surveillance units. He'd sent Kyd Wykkyd on ahead to scope out the target location he'd had in mind, the one which he'd highlighted previously as the most suitable location for the new HIVE main campus- and he hadn't been disappointed.

It was a factory warehouse complex, most of it underground, situated in the notorious Paris Island neighborhood which had been ground zero in the Big Bang incident. Formerly among the trust holdings of one of Alva Industries' subsidiaries, though it appeared that they'd never actually manufactured or stored anything in here. Not officially, in any case. But if it hadn't served any purpose, then they would have never had any staff or security stationed here, and Alva Industries had, back then. And he could hazard a guess as to what they'd been stationed here for- it appeared that this Edwin Alva had followed the same tried and tested corporate super-villainous modus operandii adopted by such household names as Lex Luthor and Maxwell Lord, _to a T_.

Immediately after the Big Bang, all of the staff here had been pulled out for good, the subsidiary had been dissolved, and the very existence of this facility had been disavowed, leaving no trace of it in public records. It was everything it had been purported to be- most importantly, completely secret, and utterly abandoned. Standing here in the middle of the largest open floor-space in the complex, looking around and casting his critical eyes over every inch of the place, it was clear to Brother Blood that it wasn't quite perfect, not yet- the aesthetics were somewhat lacking, and some facilities would need to be added today- dormitories, an expanded kitchen and cafeteria, training areas, lavatorial conveniences, a far, _far_ more advanced and aggressive security system, so on and so forth. But soon enough, by the end of the day if he had his way (and he would, he'd see to it that he did), it would be perfect...

"Now, for your first class assignments of the new semester. Priority number one, your first and foremost joint class project of the semester, will be the completion of the new HIVE Headquarters. Gizmo! Your assignment is to draw up the designs, blueprints and technical schematics befitting the new HIVE, and to orchestrate the project as a whole; do not disappoint me! See-More! Your assignment is to conduct surveying of the project, overseeing the construction, and to ensure that materials quality and structural integrity are up to standard; the HIVE deserves nothing less than flawless perfection! Mammoth, Billy Numerous! You two are assigned with carrying out tasks and fulfilling your duties in the roles of heavy construction and light construction work respectively; these tasks will be assigned to you forthwith, and you will answer to Gizmo and See-More for instructions for the course of the project's duration! Kyd Wykkyd! You are assigned with the task of acquiring whatever materials and components are required to complete the construction of the new HIVE HQ; but remember, secrecy and discretion are PARAMOUNT, and you must NOT be seen or leave any trace of your presence whatsoever! Am I understood?"

"Yes, Brother Blood!" The chorus he'd wanted to hear, in the proper pitch and at the proper tone. Looking at them though, it was clear that they had varying opinions and emotions about their respective roles. See-More was clearly ecstatic and enthusiastic about the role he'd been assigned with, as was to be expected, given that it would be the cyclops' first experience of holding a position where he wielded any power over anyone else. Gizmo wore a smug grin, exuding satisfaction and self-confidence. Given his intellect, even in spite of his accompanying deficits in the fields of common sense and wisdom, the little savant couldn't have possibly _not_ figured out for himself that he'd be assigned to carry out the task he'd been assigned with as soon as they got here. Mammoth looked wholly unperturbed, as though he'd been resigned to whatever job he'd be tasked with regardless of what it was (and regardless of whether or not he could actually figure it out, without it being spelled out for him).

Billy Numerous though, much to Brother Blood's ire, actually looked disappointed with the duty he'd been tasked with, even to the verge of one of his clones nearly expressing its discontentment openly; an intense, infuriated glare in its direction was all that it took to swiftly stamp that out, and keep the self-replicator from stepping out of line. Kyd Wykkyd's mask betrayed no emotion, as he simply nodded and teleported away with a swish of his cape, heading off to do as he'd been told straight away without any hesitation or delay- but Brother Blood didn't need to read people's faces or pick through their words, not when he could read their minds and pick through their thoughts. Right now, Kyd Wykkyd's mind was by far the most emotional and conflicted of them all, and understandably so. Of course he'd be feeling somewhat- nostalgic, given where they'd relocated to. _That one had history here, after all_...

But he hadn't gone through them all, hadn't finished handing out assignments yet. Having purposefully gone out of his way to ignore them thus far, Brother Blood turned his full attentions back to his two remaining students. He was pleased to see that they were both still standing there, with their backs up straight against the wall; that neither of the two of them had slouched back or allowed their attentions to wander elsewhere. But he wasn't surprised- he knew that these two were the least lacking in self-discipline of all his sorry lot (among those who were physically capable of speech and of venturing outside in broad daylight without having to wear their costumes, in any case). "Jinx, Private HIVE! I have another assignment for the two of you. Come!"

"Sir, yes sir!"

Brother Blood rolled his eyes, just managing to suppress the groan before it escaped his lips. "At ease, Private."

"Yes, Headmaster? What's our assignment?"

"Well, Jinx, your assignment is one which, while I would normally deal with such a pressing and pivotal matter personally, I've decided to entrust you two with instead. DO NOT FAIL ME, or the consequences will be DIRE. Do you understand?"

"I- Yes, Headmaster, I understand. We, understand. Don't we, Private HIVE?"

"Oh- yes sir, clear as crystal..."

"I should hope so. Very well. I've decided to give you two the honor of assigning you with the task of recruiting our very first new students to the HIVE. Two of them, in fact- a couple of promisingly gifted young metahumans, who it just so happens are currently sitting and eating in a rather dilapidated diner just a few blocks away from here. But I'm not going out there to do it myself, not today. No, you two- Jinx, Private HIVE- are assigned to go out there, approach them, and bring them back with you. Silently, quietly, and discreetly, without attracting any undue attention. Believe it or not, even if our underwater base hadn't been uncovered, infiltrated and destroyed-" Brother Blood scowled, baring his teeth for a moment as the burning desire for vengeance against Cyborg, Bumblebee, Aqualad and the Teen Titans raged through him, before closing his eyes, smoothing his features over again and continuing on.

"Both of them would still have been offered HIVE scholarships anyway, and added to the student roster before the start of the next semester regardless. I make it my business to keep track of goings-on, to keep an eye out for young talent looking to make their start in the world of super-villainy. And roughly three months ago, a piece of news from Dakota City caught my eye. Here- read." Brother Blood pulled a couple of photocopies of the newspaper article out from his robes, handed them over to the two of them. Reading through it, Private HIVE creased his forehead, his eyebrows falling deeper and deeper. Jinx didn't have any eyebrows to furrow, and she was a much faster reader- but even after skimming through the article, taking a double-take and incredulously re-reading it again, and again, slower and slower each time, she still seemed to have be having a hard time believing it.

The headline read 'DAKOTA DUO SAVED BY JUSTICE LEAGUE', and accompanying the headline and the front-page article, there was a picture of the threat which the Justice League had deemed it necessary to intervene in order to save Dakota City's two teenage heroes from. Now, normally, Brother Blood had no tolerance for failure whatsoever. But for this girl? Given the circumstances, and given her total lack of training, he'd certainly be willing to make an exception. She'd led this small team of four meta-humans, 'The Meta-Men', for a mere few days- and in that short time, she'd orchestrated an attack which had purportedly placed the Dakota Duo on the brink of defeat, and by all accounts, would have won if she and her group hadn't been deemed enough of a threat, by Batman himself, for him to justify saving the day by leading a Justice League response team into battle against them.

Losing in a battle against Batman, The Flash, Green Lantern, Martian Manhunter and Hawkgirl combined? For someone with her powers, backed up only by a rock-skinned strongman, a pyrokinetic, and a half-man half-armadillo? No, that couldn't be counted as a genuine failure, not even by his own exceptionally high standards. He knew full well that not even all seven of his remaining HIVE students combined would have had a realistic chance of emerging from that particular battle victorious- especially not if they were attacked in a surprise ambush, completely out of the blue, without a moment's prep time. _No, that was a invaluable learning experience, the kind which could forge mere super-powered villains into true super-villains_...

Jinx, he noted, was reading through the last paragraph over and over again now. Shaking her head, she looked back up at him and raised her hand. "Sorry, but this doesn't make any sense. It says that the Justice League took them down with ease, but they still..."

"They escaped, yes. The Justice League apparently had someplace else to be, and they hastily departed in their Javelin, taking the Dakota Duo with them. And as soon as they were gone, a few minutes before the police managed to break through the roadblocks which they'd put in place prior to the battle and arrive on the scene to take them into custody, their leader ended her pretense of having been knocked unconscious, slipped out of the ropes which she'd been tied up with by Batman with consummate ease, and freed her team-mates; they all made clean getaways, and seem to have gone their separate ways since then."

"Whew." Private HIVE whistled gently in admiration. "So, which two...?" _Honestly, must I have to spell EVERYTHING out? Fine, fine- I am a teacher, after all. Deep breaths, take deep breaths..._

"Well, _Private_ , the pyrokinetic, 'Hotstreak', got himself incarcerated a month or so ago, and he's behind bars in the meta-human containment wing of this State's maximum security prison facility- at least for the time being, until I see fit to remedy that myself.* And this other one, this 'Armor-dillo' or whatever his name may be, he's no catch. But it's the girl, 'Puff', who was their leader, and clearly the brains of that outfit- she's the one who's currently sitting in the diner a few blocks away, as you would have been able to work out for yourself by going there, using your eyes and actually bothering to look. She'll be the one in that picture there in your hand; sitting alongside the massive purple juggernaut, _also_ in that same picture, _also_ in your hand, who goes by the name of 'Onyx'."

Embarrassed, Private HIVE simply nodded, staring down at his photocopy in silence. Even he had the common sense not to say what he was thinking out loud, but Brother Blood still picked up on his train of thought, loud and clear. Indeed, it was something he'd remarked upon himself, quite a few times over the past few days. This girl, this 'Puff', did indeed bear a remarkable resemblance to Bumblebee, especially with that hairstyle. However, he wouldn't let the fresh memory of that other girl's treachery chequer his treatment of this girl, or prejudice him against her. He'd see to it that this one would never betray him, that there would never be any chance of her becoming a second Bumblebee.

Tossing Private HIVE a side-glance on her way past, a silent rebuke imbued with overtures of disbelief and pity, Jinx stepped forward, her eyes lit up with enthusiasm. At least, Brother Blood consoled himself, he had at least _one_ student left who was competent enough to work things out, and to come up with plans for herself. Even so, he still needed to emphasize one last detail, just to make sure. "The two of them are apparently inseparable- where she goes, he goes, and what she does, he does with her. As such, it's her that you two will have to focus your efforts on. Bring her in, and he will follow. Got it?"

"Yes, Brother Blood. Thank you, it's just, such an honor..."

"Indeed it is, Jinx. Now, since you've got it, perhaps you two could get a move on, get changed into something a bit more casual, and go get them? Preferably while they're still there?"

* * *

Just gone 10am on Monday morning, and they were here at the Smokey Jack's Diner in the ghetto 'hood of Paris Island, as per usual. _Same old, same old_. Leaning back in her chair, Pamela puffed her cheeks out sullenly, breathing a loud, heavy sigh. Kneeling on the floor at the other side of their regular table, since there weren't any chairs in this place that would've been strong enough to bear his heavy weight, her little brother Omar- not so little any more, thanks to the Big Bang- leaned across. Gently waving one of his massive, cumbersome rock-hard hands over the top of that empty spot on the table she'd been staring down at blankly for the last five or ten minutes, to try and shake her out of it and get her attention. "You okay, Puff? What's wrong?"

"Just... _Everything_. Everything's wrong. What are we doing here, Onyx?"

"Eating breakfast? They do good food. You haven't even touched yours- mind if I have one of your slices of bacon?"

Puff huffed haughtily, turning away and dismissively waving her hand. "Whatever. Fine! Just take it. And you know that's not what I meant."

"Mmm, thanks. So, what _did_ you mean?"

Puff groaned, gazing up at the ceiling. If he'd been anyone else, she'd have been spitting acid by now- literally. But she held it in, held herself back. She had to. They'd trashed a few other diners in the past, and they couldn't afford to ruin things again. Not at the only one left in town which she'd frequented since before the Big Bang, the only one left which would actually serve the two of them instead of just calling in a meta-human alert the second that she and Omar walked in through the door, like everyone else did. And sometimes, even for her, it was all too easy to forget that Omar was still only twelve years old, more than four years younger than she was. He'd always been mature for his age, even before the Big Bang- and now he was Onyx, a ten foot tall, dark purple rock giant with a deep, bellowing voice, everyone else just leaped to the assumption that he was a full grown man. No- _a grown-up monster_...

Puff exhaled bitterly into her glass of tap water, raising it to her lips to start taking a sip- only to find that it was bubbling now, that she'd accidentally turned it into sour, overly acidic soda water with just that one breath. _Eeugh_... "It, it just isn't fair, you know? All of this, us, our lives- what part of this is fair?"

Onyx just shrugged his shoulders, and went back to eating his breakfast like it was the only meal he'd get all day, struggling to use the fork and knife in his clumsy, overlarge fingers without breaking either them, the crockery or the table itself. Which it would be, unless they managed to find someone who'd hand over enough pocket change for them to get another few more bites to eat. Reluctantly picking up her cutlery and starting to eat her own breakfast, Puff plotted their next move, considering their plans for the day ahead. They'd have to do it somewhere in a dark alley, somewhere where they could pin their target in and make them squirm- somewhere where they couldn't be seen, where no-one would call the police. And they'd have to do it during school hours. She'd realized a long time ago that doing it that way was the only surefire way to avoid Static and Gear, the only way to avoid having to deal with the Dakota Duo showing up to screw their day.

Mugging people in dark alleys for pocket change wasn't at all fun, enjoyable, or even rewarding. This way, they barely had enough to scrape by from day to day, and it was nowhere near the lofty goals she'd set herself in life. But it was the only option that they had right now which she'd ever be willing to stoop to. No matter what, Pamela wouldn't resort to begging on some street corner with a begging bowl, throwing herself upon people's mercy and charity. She knew full well it wouldn't get her anything anyhow- No-one had ever shown sympathy or pity for her before, and no-one ever would. And she didn't want them to any more- those days were long gone. Now, she had power, real power- the Big Bang had given her and Omar the power to seize control over their own lives, and they'd never be powerless, helpless and afraid ever again. And she had her pride- she'd had to fight so hard for it, and she was never giving it up, not ever, not for anything.

No, no matter how desperate things got, she'd never go back to doing THAT, the other thing she'd been forced into in her past life, not ever. And nothing else that came anywhere close- no begging with collection tins, no busking. And no running off to join a circus either, even if they'd get food and shelter there; their Dad's insults may have turned out to have been prophetic in the end, now that she and Omar had genuinely become true 'freaks of nature', but they were no-one's freak-shows. She wouldn't put Omar through something like that- he deserved better than that, to be treated better than that. "We both deserve better than that. _Way better_ ," she muttered, more to herself than anyone else.

"Huh? Than what? Come on, Puff, the food isn't _that_ bad. Heh heh heh..." Onyx chuckled lightly, but his tone of voice was so deep and low that it sounded like it was bellowing out of from a boombox, reverberating through the entire diner. Puff smacked her hand down on the table, hard, scowling up at him. Plenty of the people in the diner started exchanging worried glances, with a couple who'd been sitting a couple of tables away from theirs starting to get up, pack their things away and make a beeline for the exit. _Screw them_.

"This isn't a joke, Onyx! WE'RE, not a bad joke. We're just trying to get by, to make our own way in the world- why can't people just let us do that? What's their problem?"

Onyx just stared blankly at her for a few moments. Finishing off the last scraps of his super-sized meal portion, he gently set his utensils down on the table, raising a hand to scratch the smooth spot of the side of his head where his left ear used to be."Er... Because we're criminals, and we break the law? Just saying..."

"For the hundredth time, Onyx, NO, we're NOT. All of those people out there, those so-called heroes, who just charged in and destroyed every chance we ever had to make anything of our lives without asking why, without a care in the world or a second thought. People like the Dakota City police and judges, like Static and Gear, like the 'Ooh-look-at-me, I'm-so-reformed' Rubberband Man, like the Justice League. They're the real villains, _they're_ the _real_ criminals. We just keep getting caught in their sights because we're _different_ , 'cause we're _metas_ , and 'cause we want to be something more than nothing- to have something more than nothing. How unfair is that? And what laws are we breaking? 'Y'all done committed da crime a' walking while meta'? It's _bull_ , that's what it is."

Onyx grunted, shifting his weight a bit. "Alright, Puff, alright. You're right, you're always right. Geez... But there's gotta be something else we can do, some other way we can make money without breaking the law? I mean, I'm really, really strong- maybe I could get a job, like, in construction, or demolition- I can demolish anything, Puff, you know I can, quicker and easier than any wrecking ball...!"

Onyx smiled earnestly, making a fist and gently punching the palm of his other hand with it- with the noise resounding like a thunderclap in the enclosed diner, and the force of the impact rattling a couple of the closest windows in their frames. Practically everyone else in the joint abandoned whatever it was they'd been eating, and started getting themselves ready to follow the lead of the early risers, one or two of them actually bumping into one another and practically tripping over each other in their haste to get to the exit fastest. Groaning, Puff buried her head in her hands. Onyx realized he'd made a mistake too, and face-palmed himself. Creating another even louder thunderclap, with the shock shaking their table hard enough to send his fork and knife clattering to the floor this time. "Oops. My bad."

" _Oh, Lord_... You know the drill, right?"

Onyx nodded, inhaling deeply and holding his breath. Puff transformed all the way into her cloud form, took in a deep breath, and bellowed out a massive cloud of knockout gas, blanketing the whole diner in it within a couple of seconds. Only one of the people in the diners managed to get out a feeble scream before they were engulfed by the gas. Taking a look around after sucking it back in again, once the air had cleared, Puff breathed a sigh of relief to see that none of them had made it out- two or three of them had come close, clustered around the massive front doors on top of each other, but they were all fast asleep now. The guy who'd been serving behind the counter, though, was slumped forward over the counter, with the phone receiver in one hand held up against the side of his face, and his other hand resting on the nine button on the phone pad.

"Phew. That, was too close. Why'd you have to do that anyway?"

"Sorry, sis. Sometimes I just, don't know my own strength, you know?"

"I know, Onyx, I know. It's not your fault." _Guess this means we can cross Smokey Joe's off the list as well now_ , Puff bitterly thought to herself, floating across to the bar to pick up a can of Coca Cola, drifting back to her seat and popping it open to take a sip. _Terrific_...

"But you know, what I was saying, I really could do that. I could!"

"No, you can't."

"Whaddaya mean I can't? You gotta believe in me..."

"I do believe in you, Onyx. But I already checked, nearly a year ago now, and you're not allowed- according to the laws of employment in the State of Dakota, you're not old enough to be employed in any jobs involving heavy manual labor, not until you reach the age of eighteen. No loopholes, no special circumstances, no exceptions for metahumans. In fact, even then, you'd still be paid way, way less for doing the same amount of work than any regular guy would, just 'cause you're a metahuman- because of course, no-one has a problem with discrimination when it's us metas getting screwed by the system. _Figures_..."

"That- that really _isn't_ fair. Can't we move then? Go someplace else, some other state..."

"It's the same across the whole of the USA, Onyx. You can't get a job, won't be allowed to use your abilities to make an honest living that way, until you're a legal adult. And it's not just manual labor either, but any kind of job at all which involves the use of superpowers. They try to justify it with a load of bull about 'preventing child exploitation'. HA! You believe that crap? After what's happened to us, we're not allowed to earn an honest living, not allowed to earn our way out of the gutter, 'cause they care _so much_ about protecting _us children_ from being _abused_ and _exploited_."

Onyx chuckled again, but there was no mirth in it this time. When he spoke, his words were loaded with sarcasm. "Yeah, right..."

" _...'re sure this is the_ place?"

Both Puff and Onyx whipped around as the diner's front doors opened wide, and two newcomers, a guy and a girl, walked in. They looked kinda weird at first glance, but Puff wasn't about to waste time by looking them over. In the wink of an eye, she'd sent off two knockout puff darts, one for each of them, hurtling towards their faces with pinpoint accuracy. But somehow, both their mystery guests somehow managed to react even faster. The guy went to ground, doing a forward roll over the unconscious people lying on the floor around the door and managing to stay under the path of the puff dart she'd puffed his way, then leaping back to his feet as soon as it had passed overhead, raising an arm to try and block whatever was coming next. He looked like the high school jock type though, built like one and dressed like one, so it wasn't that much of a surprise.

The girl, on the other hand, was even more petite than Puff herself was, at least a couple of inches shorter and slimmer; and both her and Onyx's jaws dropped at the sight of her leaping up out of the way in a great big arc, doing a spectacular flying cartwheel through the air, and sticking a perfect landing, poised in a crouch atop the counter. Adjusting her sunglasses and the scarf which she had wrapped around the lower half of her face, the girl turned back to the guy she'd walked in with, her confidence and amusement dripping in her voice. "Oh, I'm sure."

The jock wasn't looking at her though- he was too preoccupied with taking a good look around, getting a load of all of the unconscious people littered all over the place. "Whoa. What in Sam Hill happened here?"

 _Okay, hold up_. Puff snapped her jaw shut, narrowing her eyes and staring the both of them down, creating an acid puff dart in the palm of her hand and juggling it from one to the other. "What you think happened here, genius? We did. And it don't matter how fancy you and your GF's moves are. If you even think about calling the cops, or snitchin' on us, you'll be out cold like all the rest- or worse. You hear me?"

"Oh, we wouldn't dream of it, would we?" The girl perched on the counter called out as she made herself more comfortable, shoving the knocked-out employee with the phone in his hand out of her way- who slowly slid off the rest of the way off the counter on his own, collapsing down on the floor behind the counter with an audible thump- to make some elbow room, before sitting herself down and dangling her legs out over the front. "Besides, it makes things so much easier this way. It's so nice to have a bit of privacy, don't you think, Puff? Anyway, no need for these now, not when we have the whole place to ourselves..."

The scarf, the sunglasses and the head shawl she'd been wearing fell away, revealing the girl's face properly. She looked about the same age as Puff was; and it was instantly obvious, just from looking at her face, that she had to be a Bang-Baby. What with that fuchsia pink hair, bundled up in some style that made them like scruffy cat's ears, that pale grayish-violet skin tone and those bright pink eyes of hers, with slits for pupils like those of a cat, it was pretty obvious. With the mystery solved, Onyx finally managed to pick his chin up off the floor, clenching his fists and henching himself up. "Sorry, Little Miss Kitty Cat, but if you're here lookin' for a fight..."

"What?" The girl's smile slipped away, replaced by a scowl. "NO- I'm, we're, here to make the two of you an offer you can't refuse. And for your information, the name's Jinx. Call me _that_ again, and you'll find out what seven years' bad luck _really_ looks like..."

"Hey, could have been worse." The metahuman girl, Jinx, whipped around to turn her glare on the shaven-headed guy she'd walked in here with, as he strolled across to join her by the counter, with a teasing smirk plastered across his face. "He could have called you Little Miss Puss- _yaargh...!_ " A flash of bright magenta light flared from Jinx's eyes, lashing out at the guy- who was instantly cut off in mid-speech, losing his footing as the welcome mat that he'd just set foot on seemed to yank itself out from under him, tossing him down to the ground and bringing the back of his skull clattering into the floor with a sickeningly loud crunch, hard enough to leave a visible crack in the tiling. "AAH! _Son of a...!_ "

Given what the guy'd obviously been about to say, Puff couldn't help but let the corners of her own mouth creep upwards, just a little bit. Not to mention that this sounded like a real opportunity could be on offer, the first they'd had in, well, forever. And there was no way she'd let another one of those escape her grasp. Still, she couldn't afford to look enthusiastic, to look desperate, or she'd get taken for a ride- two years living on the streets, and another three years before that working them, had taught her that much. Puff deliberately yawned, inspecting her fingernails as nonchalantly as she could, before speaking up in a semi-bored, semi-sarcastic tone of voice "Yeah, yeah. So, go ahead- I'm listening. What's your oh-so-special offer, Miss Jinx?"

"It's- just Jinx, please. And, well, I'm here to offer you an invitation, on behalf of the HIVE Academy. You won't have heard of it before, of course; that's the whole point. But it's _the_ school for uniquely gifted, talented young villains, from all over the world, where they teach you all you need to know about how to become a top-tier, professional super villain. Very secretive, very exclusive, and very, very prestigious. Right now, we're in the process of relocating, to a newer, bigger and better campus, and we're expanding the student base. And we want you, and Onyx, to join us- you've both been offered full scholarships. If what we've heard about you is true, you clearly have the potential for greatness- and at the HIVE Academy, we can enable you to realize that potential. And once you have, HIVE Academy really does have a top-notch graduate program- with easy access to recruitment and employment with organisations like Lexcorp, Intergang, Kobra, Scorpio, MAZE, Shadowspire, the Silicon Syndicate and the Wildebeest Society, all of whom'll be clamoring for your services, you'll never have to worry about being out of work ever again."

"Right. So, what kind of deal are we looking at? What kind of 'fees' does your HIVE Academy charge? What, we gotta raise enough cash to pay for the privilege up front? Or lemme guess- we'd have to 'repay the debt', by handing over the lion's share of everything we manage to rake in for the rest of our lives?"

"None, actually. Not for you two, anyway. Like I said, you've both been offered scholarships- proper, full scholarships. That means the HIVE Academy covers all expenses. You don't have to pay a cent, wouldn't owe anything to anyone for any of it. I know what you're thinking," Jinx continued hastily, cutting off the sceptical retort before it left the tip of Puff's tongue, limiting her response to nothing more than an incredulous snort. "That nothing in life comes for free, and there has to be some huge catch in there somewhere? I was a lot younger when the HIVE found me and offered me my scholarship, but I remember feeling exactly the same way. Good things just didn't happen to me- I was so sure that the only type of luck which existed was _bad_ luck, that _mis_ fortune was the only kind of fortune which was real. And it took me ages to accept that opportunity, because I found it so hard to believe that it wouldn't just be more of the same in disguise- more pain, more suffering. But it _wasn't_. This isn't. See, sometimes, if you're powerful enough and good enough at what you do, the best things in life _can_ be free. All you have to do is reach out and take them."

Puff pursed her lips, looking Jinx straight in those freaky eyes of hers. Even though they were bright pink, and they had narrow slits for pupils like those of a snake, somehow she could tell that this girl was being straight and sincere with her, that Jinx was telling the truth. Almost in between the two of them, Onyx craned his overly thick neck, looking back and forth from his sister to Jinx and back to his sister again, hope burning bright in those beady coal-black eyes of his- and catching a glimpse of his face, the last shreds of her resistance wilted away. By then, without enough acid in her thoughts and emotions to keep it concentrated, the puff dart in the palm of her hand was just for show anyway, barely any more corrosive than the Coca-Cola she'd been sipping on- and now, she reluctantly let it fade away completely.

"That easy, huh? Just reach out and take it? What if it turns out this HIVE Academy just isn't for us? If we decided to leave, would you let us back out and still let us live? Or would you try and put the both of us in body-bags?"

"Ngghh, really...?" Picking himself up off the floor, still rubbing the spot on the back of his head where his head had nearly been cracked open, the shaven-headed jock spoke up, glowering at both the two of them and Jinx in equal measure. "Haven't even signed up, and already thinking about deserting? Had a couple too many deserters lately- don't need any more of those at the HIVE."

"Oh, pack it in, Private HIVE." Jinx snapped. "Just because you decided to play at being a soldier doesn't mean that any of the rest of us have to, or even want to. Puff, Onyx, you're free to drop out of the Academy at any time. At least one or two students wash out each year. And if you did, so long as you don't rat anyone out or turn hero, it wouldn't an issue- the HIVE would be disappointed, because they've got high hopes for you two, but they'd be okay with it, and accept your decision. But you wouldn't want to- something tells me that you're not the kind who'd give up or tap out just because it's tough or hard. Are you?"

For the first time in a long while, a genuine honest-to-goodness smile broke though onto Puff's face. "Hell nah. Are we, Onyx?"

Grinning broadly, overjoyed at the expression on his big sister's face, Onyx shook his head. "Nope. So, Puff, can we- are we...?"

"Yep. We're in."

* * *

 **A/N-**

 **Yes, I've decided to come up with my own detailed background and origin story for Kyd Wykkyd in this fic; one which I felt would tie in pretty well in a merged AU such as this one. Also, referring to the events at the start of the Static Shock-Justice League crossover double episode; of course, the Justice League only showed up because they wanted Static's help on the damaged Watchtower before it crashed out of orbit, didn't care less about the threat posed by Puff and her 'Meta-Men', and had other far more urgent priorities than making sure that a few metahuman juvenile delinquents got taken into custody. But only the Dakota Duo and Justice League members (and Brainiac) could possibly know that- anyone else out of the loop would have to assume that the Justice Leaguers showed up specifically to save Static and Gear from Puff's Meta-Men. And that's the main reason why Puff has to be the first student Brother Blood would be looking to add to his roster in Dakota City- after hearing about that incident, reckoning that the Justice League took her and her small band of supervillains _that_ seriously, and taking into account that they got away to boot, how could Brother Blood possibly not consider her HIVE-worthy student material?**

 **Also taking another bit of creative licence with a couple of other backstories here. Appearances can be deceptive- and even though Onyx is massive, has a deep voice, and has ridges on his chin which resemble the outlines of a beard, he's also referred to as the 'boy of stone', even in the series. And we know literally nothing about Puff and Onyx's pre-Big Bang history anyway; so, total creative freedom, and making the most of it. IMHO, Puff and Onyx's relationship, and their dynamic with one another, is most consistent with what you'd expect between a big sister and little brother, and I've got a really detailed idea of Puff and Onyx's backstory and history in this fic. It's not really the kind of stuff I could delve into in any detail without bumping the rating up to M first, or adding a fair few trigger warnings- for now, it'll just be limited to a few hints, here and there. But suffice to say that they both had extremely difficult childhoods. Next chapter, we see Static and Gear going out on patrol, and Kyd Wykkyd finds himself in the right place at the right time to try and entice a few more potential recruits to the HIVE. R &R please!**


	3. Chapter 2: Winds of Change

**CHAPTER 2: Winds of Change**

 ** _BBBBBBBRRRRM. BRRRM-BRR-BRRRRM, BRRR, BRRRR_**...

Virgil Hawkins clenched his eyes shut for the moment, setting both his elbows down on the desk and putting his head in his hands, dropping the pen to run his fingers through his hair. But it'd take more than a ham-fisted half attempt at a scalp massage to try and cope with _that_. "Yo, Richie!"

Standing over in the opposite corner of the Gas Station, Richie Foley was too engrossed in his own little world to even hear him, running around his small workstation- the 'Gear-shop', as he liked to call it- and tinkering away on his latest custom-built, 'new and improved' whatever-ma-jig to his heart's content. Pausing for a sec or two every now and again, before shaking his head and going straight back to work with the angle-grinder, metal buffer, Backpack's built-in laser and all of the rest of loudest, noisiest tools he'd been able to get his hands on...

Gritting his teeth, tossing the almost completely blank sheets of paper that he'd been trying to work on for the past hour or so off to one side, Virgil upped the volume to holler it out again, his eyes literally shooting sparks in Richie's direction. "YO, RICHIE! EARTH TO RICHIE!"

Screeching to a halt, coming back down out of the clouds and 'exiting the Gear-Zone'- awakening from that frantic, mad-inventing trance-like state he'd go off into- Richie switched whatever power tool he'd been using that particular moment off, and slowly turned to look his way, his eyes still a little hazy for a moment or two. "Huh? Oh, hey there, Virgil- what's up?"

"Look, just... Just try and keep it down over there, alright? I'm tryin' to do my homework here!"

"What, you're still busy with that? I, like, totally feel your pain- that must be such a major drag...!"

"Yeah, thanks for rubbin' it in, Richie." Virgil muttered, floating the strewn sheets of paper with his powers as easily as if they'd been feathers, and clinging them back together into a neat, tight stack.

"...I mean, I can't even begin to imagine what that must be like. Stuck doing homework, for hours on end. The horror! The torture!"

"Why, you got amnesia? You should remember. It was only last year that you were in the same boat as me, and it was like that for you too."

Still shaking his head in amused disbelief, Richie raised his hands, wiping the smug smile from his face to replace it with an over-the-top expression of mock horror- for a couple of seconds, until that smile plastered itself back on again. "No, no- I have purged those traumatic memories from my mind, never to be reawakened! Besides, it's not the exercise itself- it's the time. All that wasted time, all that effort, for stuff that was actually oh-so-simple all along. Like, mind-numbingly simple. Seriously, Virge, how could you not be finished? That's like struggling with the alphabet, or with your times tables! Come on. You're smarter than that- just gotta get that brain on full charge and out of standby mode, that's all. How 'bout a Zap-cap?"

Richie plucked one out of his utility box, holding it out to him and grinning practically from ear to ear. Virgil just stared back at him for a moment or two, his frown getting even deeper. "Er, NO- I do _not_ need a zap-cap for my brain! Look, Richie, cut me some slack, alright? I'm a genius too, remember? Just 'cause you manage to finish all of your homework in five minutes flat nowadays, it doesn't mean I'm not doing it right just 'cause I can't do it as quick as you can any more. Besides, not every piece of homework's about knowing the answers to questions, and giving a perfect set of right answers. You didn't take any subjective subjects, not like Art or Theater- I did!"

"Eeugh, don't remind me." Richie groaned, slotting the zap-cap back into its place in the box and slumping over his workstation. "What was I thinking? At least if I had taken those kind of subjects, I'd still be able to enjoy classes at school, instead of feeling like I'm stuck in kindergarten. I mean, come on; those were the subjects worth doing, the subjects of life! What I wouldn't give, to be doing what you're doing right now."

 _I wish_... Virgil stretched his arms out, leaning back in the chair, before levitating his pen back into his hand, hunching in over the desk and trying to set it to paper once more. "Anyhow, I've got a three thousand word essay due in for tomorrow, that I hadn't even started until fifteen minutes ago. So no, I'm NOT finished, and I'm not gonna be finished any time soon. But hey, if you're volunteering to offer a hand by doing my homework for me, seeing as how it's so great and all, I'm game. It'd be a helluva lot quieter than you tinkering with those new and improved zap-caps of yours, that's for sure..."

"Ooh, no can do, I'm afraid. I can help, sure, but can't do it for you- pretty sure that'd come under the bracket of 'using my powers for evil', and all that. And these things I'm working on aren't zap-caps! Well, not like the regular ones, anyway. You'd still have to change them up, but once you do, all you'd have to do would be to toss it at something, and Hey Presto! Instant Static Cling, on everything and everyone in a ten-meter radius! Wouldn't that be sweet? When I get it working properly, that is. Nearly there- just a few more tweaks, and it'll be..."

Virgil groaned, loudly enough to cut Richie off in mid-sentence. "Richie, I can already do that with my powers anyhow, remember?"

"Yeah, well, that's what you said about the zap-caps as well, and look how that turned out. No such thing as too much prep...! Wait. Hold on there just a sec- Backpack's picking something up. Is it...? YES! Score- we've got ourselves a metahuman alert! Time to Gear up!"

 _Well, looks like my grades are gonna keep on tumbling_. Resigning himself to having to hand in yet another unfinished, shoddy half-attempt at an assignment, Virgil flicked the pen aside, watching it rebounding off the desk and clatter to the floor. "Terrific. So? Where is it?"

"It's... No way! It's the new Patty's Patties, the one that was opening downtown today!"

"The what now? Patty Patty? Never heard of 'em before."

"Well, they're supposed to be really big on the West Coast, but this one's their first fast food franchise in Dakota. And someone had the nerve to crash the place on its opening day, ruin the special event for everyone else? Come on, Static- let's teach this punk a lesson! Let's go, go, go! _Okay, let's see, what should I take? This, definitely. Those...? Meh, could come in handy. These things, well they're kind of heavy, but you never know. Should I leave 'em, or take 'em? Hmmm... Leave, take, leave, take...?_ "

 _No such thing as too much prep, huh_? Already in his Static outfit, standing in the doorway atop the Static Saucer, Virgil let out a heavy sigh. Taking the weight off his feet, and taking a seat on it instead, hovering there in mid-air, he watched on as Gear rummaged through pretty much every piece of gear he had to hand, his expression steadily getting more sullen as the seconds ticked away. Eventually, he cleared his throat loudly; then, when that didn't work, snapped off a loud, crackling bolt of electric energy with a click of his fingers to get Richie's attention. "Gear? I got an idea. How 'bout you take whatever you've already got, and then maybe, just maybe, we _might_ still be able to catch whoever this is before they can make a clean getaway? 'Kay?"

"But, but, what if- I mean, we could really _need_ that gadget over there, if..." Gear stared at a clunky, fist-sized metal box sitting close to the middle of his workstation, with such a wistful, pining look painted across his face that Virgil had to fight the urge to burst out laughing.

He couldn't keep the smile off of his face though; standing back up again, Static hovered across to float beside his closest friend, crouching down and leaning in to clap a hand on the back of his shoulder. "Don't sweat it, Gear. I got your back- whoever it is, between the two of us, we can handle 'em."

"Alright alright, fine. Fine... Race ya!" Brushing his disappointment aside in an instant, as if at the flip of a switch, Gear grinned, shoving Static out of the way, engaging his rocket blades and shooting past him, out through the open door. Caught off guard, Static fought to regain his balance for a moment or two, whirling around to watch Gear skyrocketing up, up and away into the distance, off in the direction of the metahuman alert. Chuckling lightly, Static reached up to put his shades on, switching on the communicator he had in his right ear at the same time. Shooting out through the doorway, slamming it behind him, before sending a crackling surge of electricity through the saucer, supercharging his slick ride to propel himself skywards in hot pursuit.

"Hey, no fair! Oh, so you wanna race there, huh? You _know_ that head-start won't do you any good...!"

 **XxXxX**

"See? What'd I tell you?"

"You know, I'm upgrading the rocket blades all the time. You'll see, soon enough- one of these days, I'm gonna win, I swear I will..."

"Yeah, I know. Just wasn't today. And I'm bettin' it won't be tomorrow either. Or the day after that, and- well, you get the idea..."

"Grrr."

"Okay, okay. Chill, Gear- I was just messin' with your head, that's all. So, anyway, who're we gonna be dealing with? How much further is this place anyhow?"

"Oh, we're almost right on top of it- it's right down there, on that boulevard just across from the performance venue in Dakota Central Park. As for the perp, they didn't say. But wait, Backpack's picked up a couple of in-flight updates- they're talking about it being some fat bla- African American guy, wearing a cape and shades..."

Flying in over the row of trees lining the avenue which overlooked Central Park, approaching the scene of whatever was going down, it wasn't hard to work out where. Not with the hordes of panicked, screaming civilians still streaming out of the place, lining the street on both sides. Or with 'PATTY'S PATTIES' written large and bold in neon lettering, right up there above the front door. Setting the saucer down in the middle of the road, hopping off it, folding it back up and stowing it away in his pocket in one swift movement- he'd had enough practice by now to do it with his eyes closed- Static jogged forward, towards the front door.

"...Now, who do we know who fits that description, who's caused trouble at a fast food joint before?"

Whooshing down behind him, Gear disengaged his rockets and roller-bladed forward to join him. Gear's reflective helmet didn't let anyone get a glimpse of his face, but he didn't have to see Richie's face to know just from the tone of his voice that he'd have a smug, knowing grin plastered across it right now. It wasn't like this was hard to figure out- he knew exactly who it'd be. And as he flung the doors open with a jolt of electric energy, and the decent-sized crowd of onlookers still hanging around in the fast food joint parted in front of the two of them to reveal their perp, it came as no surprise when he was proven right. "Slipstream."

"Called it," Gear said gleefully, starting to raise his hand for a high-five- before taking notice of the surging arcs of electricity encompassing Static's clenched fists, and thinking better of it.

With a swish of the big purple bath-towel that he always wore, tied around his fat neck as his pathetic excuse for a cape, the squat, pork-bellied man with the insane wind powers standing there in front of the counter swiveled around to face the two of them. Pulling up his baseball cap and pulling down his sunglasses to take a good look- using his free left hand to do both, with the other hand clenched around the tops of at least four fast-food takeaway paper bags, all of them heavy and packed full to bursting- Slipstream peeled back his lips, baring his teeth in an irate grimace. "Dang! It's Static!"

"Ah-hem; 'and Gear'?! _I mean, seriously, why don't I ever get a mention_...?" Gear muttered rapidly, under his breath, but still loud enough for Static to hear every word through the 'shock-comm' miniaturized earpieces and mouthpieces they were both wearing. Doing his best to ignore Gear's ongoing soliloquy, about how no-one ever cared about whether he was there or not, Static strode into the restaurant, raising an electrically charged accusatory finger at the biggest, fattest Bang Baby of them all.

"I was wonderin' when you'd show your face again, Slipstream. All these freak wind events we've been having in Dakota- the weird gusts of wind that've been carrying property away, the tornadoes springing up out of nowhere any time o' the year and then just dying away into nothing, in the space of seconds- it's all been you, hasn't it?"

The corners of Slipstream's pudgy lips turned upward, contorting that ugly grimace into a broad, condescending grin that was just as ugly. "What, this the part where I'm supposed to 'fess up an' incriminate myself? Ha! I know my rights, Static. You can't prove shit- you know it, and the PD knows it too. I'm a re-spect-a-ble, re-formed citizen now. And I'M the one who THEY tryin' to rob!"

Static frowned fiercely, his finger twitching with the itch to shoot a bolt of electricity at the obnoxious blowhard. But like it or not, the guy was right. He couldn't prove anything with any of those other cases- he'd have to let 'em lie. "Whatever, windbag. What is it this time?"

"These fools," Slipstream yelled out in that whining baritone of him, dramatically flourishing his arm in the direction of the three employees standing there behind the counter, all standing there with their arms raised in the air, "said they were giving out free burgers today! Thousands of 'em! And they're good- Soo goood! But now, they're sellin' me short, tellin' me how I can't have any more, and tryin' to make me fork over cash for the ones I already ate...!"

"Whoa there, hold up a sec." Gear interjected, slowly walking forward to stand shoulder-to-shoulder with his crime-fighting partner, raising the palms of his hands to try and calm the guy down. "Dude, they said they were handing out a free Patty's Pattie to each customer. As in, ONE free Patty's Pattie per person." Static turned his head to toss a furtive glance at Gear, raising an eyebrow. Gear shrugged nonchalantly, whispering under his breath so that only the shock-comms would be able to pick it up. " _Read about it in the paper. I was gonna come pick one up later. Anyway, that's beside the point_..." Upping the volume of his voice again, Gear turned to address the crowd. "How many has Slipstream here already had?"

"H-He's eaten at least nineteen already!" One of the servers behind the counter called out shakily, her voice wavering as Slipstream spun back around to glower at her menacingly. "When we, refused to k-keep serving him, he started t-threatening the other customers, f-forcing them to hand theirs over to him..."

A chorus of agreement echoed from the members of the crowd. Right alongside where Gear stood, a chubby little girl so small that she just barely came up to his knee pulled away from her mum and stepped out of the crowd, toddling over to tug at the leg of his costume, and levelled an accusatory finger of her own up at the fat aerokinetic. "Yeah! He even snatched mine away! He's a naughty food thief...!"

Gear gasped audibly, gaping behind the visor of his helmet. "Really? He did? Wow, that's... That's just plain evil!"

Unrepentant, Slipstream shrugged nonchalantly, sneering at them. "Hey, not like that little brat was gonna be able to eat hers anyhow. And she shouldn't have neither- Damn, I guess I was doin' a proper public service, sparin' her by taking it for myself! I'm no killer, but childhood obesity sure is! And when they as moreish as they are, how the heck're you supposed to stop after just havin' one?! That's just cruel, that's what it is...!"

"Yeah, right. And snatching food right outta the hands of tiny little toddlers isn't, huh?" Static scoffed. The little girl pulled away from Gear, putting her hands on her hips, narrowing her eyes and pouting fiercely up at him.

"Hey! I'm not tiny, I'm not little, and I'm not a todhey... todha? Not a toddela! Only two more months, and I'm gonna be five whole years old- I'm a big girl! Tell them, Mommy!"

They couldn't help it- both Gear, Static, and every single person in the crowd of onlookers gave a loud, collective "Awww!" Then, as one, they all turned their glares on the fat man in the middle of the circle, who snorted indignantly, spluttering in protest. "SEE! See what I mean?! Givin' a humongous, calorie-soaked, adult-sized burger patty to a kid that age? Cloggin' up her arteries that young? It's CRIMINAL! I'm tellin' ya, I'm a bonified hero for snatchin' it away from her! Where the heck's my medal? 'Cause I damn well deserve one...!"

"Put a windsock in it, Slipstream! We got dozens of witnesses- I'm takin' you in. Now, hand those burgers back over to the people you stole 'em from, and come quietly!"

"Never! They're MINE, all mine! And no-one's gonna take 'em away from me!" Slipstream bellowed, sending a massive gust of wind howling at them with a sweep of his arm. Several people in the crowd screamed, either ducking for cover down on their hands and knees or being blown onto their backsides by the blast. Static managed to see it coming, fast enough to send a surge of electricity through his feet and keep himself firmly planted to the ground where he stood, with the wind only affecting him by blowing his hair back over his shoulders.

Gear wasn't so lucky though. Still standing there balanced on the wheels of his rocket blades, the blast of wind flung him backwards like a rag doll. His arms flailing, trying to keep his balance as best he could, he only just managed to pull out a sphere from his utility belt, and toss it off in the right direction- with the metal restraining tentacles shooting out of it to clasp around the little girl in mid-air and anchor her safely to one of the tables, just in time to save her from getting flung out through one of the windows- before smashing through the door at a rate of knots, sent sprawling out into the street outside in a shower of broken glass. "Whaa- Urgh!"

"GEAR? You okay?" Static yelled out, flinging a bolt of electricity at Slipstream. The fatso was irritatingly fast as always though, scooting up into the air atop a mini-tornado to evade it easily- trying to hit the guy was like trying to zap down a fly.

" _Nggh..._ " Gear's voice came crackling through the shock-comm. " _Uh-huh. Just, gimme a second, 'kay? You've got this_..."

"Sure do," Static muttered, shooting off another few bolts of ball lightning. In the enclosed space of the restaurant, Slipstream couldn't get out without going through him first, and it was easy to keep the dude penned in by placing his shots. "You're all hot air, Slipstream! You're trapped- give it up!"

"Oh, I am, am I?" Slipstream jeered, flying back over the counter and ducking for cover behind it. "Y'know, that gives me a fine idea! How 'bout we have ourselves a fry-up?" _Holy shit_... Static's eyes widened in horror, and everything seemed to move in slow motion, as Slipstream conjured up a wind funnel over the deep-fat fryer, sucked all the bubbling grease out of it in a heartbeat, and transforming it into a whirling windspout of searing-hot, oily death. Then, started sending it out over the counter, not just towards him, but towards the crowd of cowering innocent bystanders.

That tore it- screw the softly-softly approach. If he was gonna attack innocent bystanders, he needed to be taken down now, and taken down hard. Silently apologising to the franchise owner for the damage, Static raised his hands to reach upwards and outwards with his powers, all the way to the ceiling panel directly above Slipstream- wrenching it out and propelling the heavy roof tile down with all the force he could muster. With nowhere to go, and no time to react, Slipstream didn't even have time to squeal, as the panel came crashing down on top of his head with a blow hard enough to shatter the inch-thick ceramic in half, knocking him out instantly.

Without his powers to keep it going, the grease funnel collapsed over the counter, a few of the closest people in the crowd yelling and jumping back from the hot drops of oil that splattered onto the floor too close to their feet. A fair few drops splattered off to the sides as well, far enough to hit Slipstream and leave a couple of small, angry burns on the dude's bare forearm. Out cold though, sprawled on the floor, all he could do was twitch and jerk at the pain.

"Phew..." Static sighed with relief, slumping against one of the tables. "Thank you, and do NOT have a nice day."

A rousing cheer went up from the crowd, their applause and whoops petering out as Gear walked back in through the broken door frame, wincing with every step. "Ouch. Y'know, a couple of those cling grenades would've really come in handy. If a certain someone hadn't told me not to pack 'em, this could have been a cakewalk..."

"Gear, we gotta do this now?" Static muttered, looking around at the crowd of the reporters and news crews who'd started flooding in closely behind Gear, snapping away with their cameras to capture the aftermath of their latest fight scene.

"Hey, I'm just saying, that's all."

"Sure. Anyhow, speaking of cakes and walking though, I'm famished." Playing the part for the cameras, Static hollered out to one of the servers who'd been standing behind the counter when they'd arrived on the scene, the one who'd spoken out earlier. "Hey! Think we could still get a couple of those juicy beefcakes you been handin' out? Course, that's be to have on the go- we've still gotta drop Slipstream here off at the police station!"

The girl nodded vigorously, beaming and fluttering her eyelashes at him, before rushing back over to get behind the counter again, followed by the other four servers on duty. Another guy- some scrawny looking white dude with slicked-back blonde hair, wearing a suit and tie- pushed through the newly formed ring of cameras, walking right up to the two of them. "Static, Gear! Thank you, so much. I'm the manager of this franchise, and as a mark of our gratitude for the way you defused that situation, I'd like to officially offer you the Titans Package!"

Static squinted at him, nonplussed. "Say what? What's that...?" Glancing across at Gear though, it looked like his best friend was overjoyed.

"Whoa- seriously? That'd be SO awesome! Thank you, so, so much...!"

"Care to fill me in, Gear?"

"Oh, sure. You know the Teen Titans, over in Jump City?"

That did sound familiar. Static ran a hand through his dreads, racking his head for where he'd heard that before. "Yeah, I think so- that's Robin's new team, right? The one Bats mentioned when we went over to Gotham City, chasin' after Nails when she fell in with Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn?"

"Sure is. Anyhow, they saved each and every one of the Patty's Patties' franchises in that city from being annihilated one day, pretty early on, and to show their gratitude, they offered the Titans this totally sweet package deal where they could order anything they wanted, all they could eat, whenever they wanted. Not just on the house either- instead of having to pay, it's the fast food chain that pays them! Is that cool or what?"

"Hell yeah. So, the Titans' Package, huh? Thank you, Mister Manager."

The store manager grinned, reaching out with one hand to shake his, and waving for the cameras with the other. "Please, Mr. Fitzpatrick. And think nothing of it. It's the least we could do." Static put on an artificial grin, groaning inwardly as the moment stretched on, and on, and on, with the cameras snapping away all the while. Okay, okay- Jeez, time to let go of my hand already. Sending a weak electric shock through his palm, Static's smile turned genuine again for a moment as Manager Fitz jolted upright, hastily releasing his grip at long last and taking a couple of steps back. No-one else caught that, right? Nah. We're good- it's all cool...

"Here you go- two Patty's Patties to go, for the heroes of the day!"

"You know what? Might as well make a proper meal of it. Think we could get fries and drinks with these?"

"Coming right up!"

"Thanks a lot-" Static squinted at the server's name tag, did a double-take and re-read it to make sure- what were the odds, huh? "-Patricia."

 ** _Fifteen Minutes Later_**

"Mmnnh- man, this is SOO good!" Gear said, mmhing and aahing on his last bite of the massive burger- with the faceplate of his helmet semi-retracted so he could put it in his mouth- before licking every last trace of sauce, relish and grease off of his fingers, one at a time.

"You bet it is. Kinda makes me feel like a fool for stickin' with Burger Fool all these years..." 'Specially after we saved their stores from gettin' trashed dozens of times, and never even got so much as a 'thanks' outta them. Nah- screw Burger Fool. Static leaned back in his seat, putting his hands behind his head and propping his feet up on the table. Ah, this was the life. Sure was nice to get some real appreciation...

"So, Gear. The Teen Titans- Batman said we'd meet 'em soon enough, right? How much d'you know 'bout Rob's new team? Who's on it?"

Gear stared at him incredulously. "Seriously? Dude, how could you NOT know that? They've got the most followers online of any superheroes, anywhere, ever! Even more than the Justice League, for crying out loud...!"

Static shrugged, levitating his plastic cup up into the air so that he could take a sip of his Dr Chilli soft drink through the straw without having to unfold his arms. "So? I got my own city to worry about, and I don't spend time doin' the whole fanboy thing. Anyhow, come on- spill it already."

"Well, Robin's the leader of the group, obviously. Then you've got Cyborg, Victor-y Stone, the half-man, half-machine cutting edge cybernetic superhero. And built like a sculpted man-mountain. Super strong. Powerful. And hard- so effing hard..." Gear sighed, a faint blush spreading across his cheeks.

Static raised a furtive eyebrow, rolling his eyes. Yeah, I get it, Gear; you LOOOVE tech. But swooning over it? That was just plain weird. "Ah-hem..."

"Oh, yeah. So, where was I? Ah, yeah. Anyhow, you've also got Beast Boy- green dude who can shapeshift into the form of pretty much any animals, used to be the junior member of the Doom Patrol back in the day. Then you've got the girls- the alien Crown Princess of Tamaran, Koriand'r, better known as 'Starfire', empowered with the abilities of flight and the ability to toss around those plasma starbolts by the Gordanians. Total hottie, everyone loves her- you should see the amount of people who cosplay as her at Super-Con. And the mysterious mistress of magic, sorceress of the shadows, Raven. The darkest of them all, in more ways than one, no-one knows her real name, or even has a clue as to where she comes from. But actually, come to think of it, that incantation she uses- I think she's from... Azarath? Least, that's the name of the place- no, planet, it's a planet- that keeps coming to mind. You know how it is, right? Since what happened up on The Watchtower, that time I got merged with that Brainiac fragment?"

"Yeah, I know how it is, Gear. Those info-dumps you keep on tossing out, about these alien races, civilisations, cultures and technologies they supposed to have on all these other worlds, out there in space, spread across the cosmos. Gotta say though, with ninety-nine percent of this stuff, it sounds like you're totally makin' it all up..."

"Yeah, tell me about it. But it's all true though. And even I don't- no, even Brainiac didn't- really know anything about Azarath. Just that it was a planet in a anomalous sector of space with abnormally fluctuating quantum field values, that the people who inhabited it were all mystics and magic users, and that their whole world got destroyed around five years ago, with no survivors..." Gear's eyes lit up, his jaw dropping to the floor at the realization. Leaning across the table, closing his visor properly again, Gear lowered his voice to a whisper. "Whoa, hold on, wait a sec- there WAS a survivor!" he hissed. "Her! Dude, it's totally like Superman's origin story! Raven, the last daughter of Azarath...!"

"Man, that's gotta be rough. Losin' everyone you ever cared about, everyone else on your entire world just gone, just like that... Just how young was she, back when all that shit went down and her planet went kaput? Ten?"

"Damn- no wonder she's so glum all the time, and she hardly ever laughs or smiles. Girl deserves a bit more appreciation, a bit more popularity. Tell you what- when we get finish patrol, I'm gonna go online, log in and try to boost her support in the chat forums...!"

"Man, you really are a fan-boy," Static chuckled. "So- if these Teen Titans have the most followers online, and the Justice League have the second most, then just how many fans do I have? How high am I in those rankings?"

"You mean, how many fans do WE have, and how high are WE in the rankings? And, well- on all social media platforms, across the internet, around the world?"

"Er, yeah?"

"OK, if you're sure. And this is how the numbers were this morning, 'kay? So they'll have probably changed a little bit since then, especially given what went down here earlier when we took down Slipstream..."

"Aw, come on, Gear, spill it. I wanna know how just many fan-girls want a piece of me..."

"Alright, alright. We've got about five million, one hundred and thirty thousand social media followers, give or take ten thousand or so- it changes all the time, you know..."

"Whew!" Static whistled, a broad grin spreading across his face. "I'm that popular? Sweet! So, what, we gotta be third, right? Or maybe even second, with numbers like that!"

"Aaactually- superhero identities only, right? Counting individuals, cause there aren't that many teams, and we're not officially listed as a team anyhow? We're, no sorry, you're... twenty-eighth."

"Say WHAT now? Twenty-frickin'-EIGHTH...?"

"Which is pretty good, all things considered." Gear said hastily. "I mean, that puts you ahead of a whole heap of other superheroes- hell, that's more than Martian Manhunter! Not to mention more than Mr Terrific, Red Tornado, Plastic Man, Doctor Fate... Doctor Mid-Nite, him too. Oh, and Firestorm! The Question, Booster Gold, Metamorpho, Blue Devil, Wildcat, Crimson Avenger. Speedy too- you know, Green Arrow's former sidekick? Yeah, him. All pretty big, household names, all left in the dust- ooh, and you were literally only a few thousand behind BB this morning, behind Beast Boy! So with any luck, you'd have overtaken him today! Fingers crossed, eh? And you already overtook Detective Chimp last week, so that's something. Oh, and Raven- you've got over a million more followers than Raven. Feel sad for her. She totally deserves so many more..."

"Okay, when we get back to base, I wanna see that list." Static scowled, angrily drumming his fingers on the table. "Still, twenty-eighth place? For real? With that many fans? Even after saving Shaq's life TWICE, gettin' a shout-out theme song from Lil' Romeo, and all those team-ups with Superman, the Dynamic Duo AND the Justice League, we're still only in twenty-eighth place? Just how many followers do these guys have? Like, these Titans, the Teen Titans. How many followers do they have?"

"Ooh, just a couple hundred million." Now it was Static's turn to gape, struck speechless. "I know, tell me about it. They're really big in the Far East. Especially Japan, they're CRAZY about the Titans in Japan. And with all the sponsorship and advertisement income they get, and that Jump City gets through them, they're, like, totally loaded. Even got their own massive HQ, the Titans Tower, on their own private island out in Jump City Bay. Got that real early on too, all expenses paid by the grateful people of Jump City. It's shaped like a giant T and everything, same as their logo- you oughta see it, looks totally shway."

"Great, now I'm jealous. You tellin' me they got some awesome, massive, swanky custom-built apartment block, all to themselves, on their own private island out in the bay? And they got that as a gift, free of charge, in spite of the fact that they rollin' in cash? Deals like this ' _Titans Package_ ', everywhere they go; all those fans, all that moola, all that adulation... And we've saved our city, this city right here, how many times, from how many different Bang Babies and supervillains? And we still stuck slummin' it out, squattin' in some abandoned shack at a disused run-down gas station...?"

"Aww, come on Static, don't get on a downer! I mean, they're totally crazy about you over in Africa too, especially in West Africa. You're, like, one of the most followed superheroes on the continent right now; even more than Anansi, Hot Spot and Kid Wildebeest, and almost as much as Vixen! Only thing is, there aren't that many people over there who even have the internet, let alone who use social media. So all you've gotta do is wait 'til Africa gets more connected to the web, wait for all those Static fans over there to start using social media, and you'll shoot right on up there into the top ten, easy! Well, maybe, maybe not- but top fifteen, guaranteed!" Gear grinned, giving him two thumbs up.

"Oh, wow, that's just swell," Static muttered sarcastically, cleaning his hands off with a paper towel and floating it on over into one of the bins on the far side of the fast food joint, sending it on a long spiraling loop all the way around the restaurant first- a little hint of a smile returning to his face again when he caught sight of the chubby little kindergartner girl Gear'd saved earlier, staring at the floating paper towel with sparkly eyes, before squealing in delight and clapping her fat little hands together when it dived into the bin. Static rose to his feet, pulled the Static Saucer out of his pocket and expanded it out to its full size."Know what, let's just forget I ever asked. Come on, Gear. We got a whole city to patrol, and our job here's done- you ready to go?"

"You know I am. And just remember- it's not about the glory, amirite?"

"Yeah yeah, Gear, I know. It's about stopping the bad guys here, keeping crime from spiraling outta control and keepin' our city safe. But honestly, sounds like it'd be pretty sweet to be a Titan..."

* * *

 _A/N- Following on from the last chapter, after watching that double-header cross-over episode, A League of Their Own, I realized something. Static Shock was officially part of the DCAU; and taking into account what happened in that cross-over episode, Gear is one of only two people on earth who merged with Brainiac, and would have gained a twelfth-level intellect in the process. As such, going by official canon, while Mr Terrific's the 3rd smartest human in the DCAU, both Lex Luthor and Richie Foley would have been tied for the position of the smartest human who ever lived, courtesy of the knowledge acquired via their respective mergers with Brainiac; and at this stage, since Lex Luthor isn't set to merge with Brainiac for at least another two years in DCAU canon (and thanks to the divergences from the original timeline, may never do so), one can categorically state that, in actual fact, it's Gear who's the smartest person on Earth at this point in time in the DCAU, not Lex Luthor. Also, want to apologize for how long it's taken to get this chapter posted- just haven't had the time to work on it recently, what with work obligations and family life, and with being sidetracked by getting into new fandoms. But you can expect the chapters to be churned out far more quickly from here on in._


End file.
